Attitude. What is it?

   Attitude.  What does that word mean to you?  Think about it?  Is it something that you would think about being purely mental or emotional, or is it something else?  Interestingly enough, it’s hard to find a definition of it that doesn’t pertain to the physical as well.  Psychologically speaking, it’s defined as 

a hypothetical construct that represents an individual’s degree of like or dislike for something. Attitudes are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event— this is often referred to as the attitude object.

   This definition, being strictly from a psychological aspect and not a physical one, I think does a pretty good job putting in perspective for discussion’s sake.  Either positive or negative, differing degrees of like or dislike, and here’s what I like; there’s an object at the center of it.  I don’t think we need to discuss what positive and negative is, or what differing degrees mean, but I think it’s vastly important to discuss this idea of the object being present.

   Don’t we all go around and say, “He just has a bad attitude.” or “I can’t stand being around them for too long cause their attitude sucks.”  It’s funny how most of us would, in casual conversation and not thinking about it, would consider that attitude is this very broad spectrum thing that just is there and encompasses everything.  Like it’s a part of our personalities or something.  Like it’s something that we can’t help.  I don’t believe that for a second. 

   If we look at it as something focused on an object, wouldn’t that be a great thing?  Wouldn’t it be awesome, when we’re moping around, being a jerk, or even in a good mood for some reason, to be able to identify what the object is to it?  I don’t know about you, but I would rather be able to identify the source of my moping and jerk-ness, and fix it.  I would also, love to identify why I’m in a good mood so I can replicate that more often.  I think this also allows for more compassion from people around us doesn’t it?  Shouldn’t it? 

   Think about those people, whom we all know, who just walk around with a horrible attitude.  Let’s redefine it…they’re walking around with a horrible view of some object and here’s where the physical aspect comes in; it shows.  They are always negative, rude, angry, etc.  They put down the good things that others around them have.  They look as if they’re hurting sometimes.  Generally speaking, it’s not that the attitude is who they are, rather it’s a perspective that is focused on an object or objects, that they view as (to differing degrees) negative, and it is showing in their physical life.  I believe this opens a door for compassion and a helping hand, rather than falling into the trap of…wait for it…our newly created bad attitude with them as our object.

   I think our natural human instinct, as it is in so many cases is to be reactive and not proactive.  All too often, we find ourselves reacting to things as opposed to being proactive and choosing our response.  Doesn’t this line of thought about what an attitude is, and it being focused on an object and not just a way of being, give us a good tool to use, helping us not be reactive by creating our own attitude but instead, be proactive and choose a helpful positive response?  I find this at work often when I pray.  The act of praying forces me into a more spiritual, Christian way of thinking and I often find the errors of my thinking in prayer.  My natural, worldly thoughts are often exposed to be in conflict with what my spirit knows to be right and it often is focused around this attitude mindset.  Whether it’s towards a person, something that happened at work, some life event or whatever, I find that my natural and spiritual instincts don’t always line up and it’s often because I haven’t chosen the proper attitude to take to it. 

   What do most people do when they see tears streaming down someone’s cheeks?  Most would wonder what’s wrong, wondering if they can help, wanting to make that person feel better, etc.  They show compassion.  But what is a tear other than an indicator, an object, that shows us something is wrong?  Saline and oil?  Tears are a visible object that eliminates our need to “read into the situation”.  Sometimes they’re joyful tears and those would tell us that something has gone good, right?  Well, here’s an idea I have and I’ll issue a challenge with it; let’s look at attitudes around us not as an inconvenience (I agree that they can be) but as indicators much like we do tears.

  Picture It:  Sicily, 1934.  Just kidding and $1 for the first one to name that reference.  Anyway, I challenge you to do this for just one week and then tell me about your experiences with it.  Tell me what changes you see in your own attitude and in the attitudes of those around you, when you proactively respond to their attitudes the way you would if they were tears.  Bad attitude?  Think to yourself, I hate their attitude, but it’s telling me something isn’t right with them.  I wonder if I can do something. Good attitude?  Be happy for that person because things may be going really well.  Let’s all consider people’s attitudes as merely an indicator to their condition and then respond accordingly.  I like this idea much better than allowing someone else’s bad attitude to form one in me that I have to deal with inside my own spirit, and I bet you that a good attitude can be contagious! 

I don’t like that man.  I must get to know him better. 

~Abraham Lincoln

   Maybe our friend Honest Abe was on to something.  First it seems he’s aware that there is something he doesn’t know.  Second, he’s proactively choosing a different reaction that was most of our instincts would tell us to do.  I think that we could all have enriched lives by realizing how much in our lives could be choices and not reactions.  Of course you’d feel like a victim and be down if you feel you have no control and your life just sucks, but by choosing a different choice, how much of that could be made better?  What if you could help others think that way too.  What if you could be a valuable instrument to help others identify the object of their down attitudes, thus enabling them to help themselves? 

Let’s not be victims to others negative views of an object in their lives but instead be a light and a source of positive reinforcement to them, and maybe, just maybe our positive attitude will be contagious! 

 

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